Monday, June 21, 2010

Why Is Jealousy Not Worth Your Time In Relationship? I'll Tell You Why.

We all know the feeling. It's that feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you miserable and sick and just an ugly person all around.It can occur in all kinds of relationships whether it is friendship, lovers, neighbours, or co-workers. It doesn't matter whom or what you are jealous of the emotion is still Jealousy.

There's being a little Jealous. Meaning you only think about it occasionally like when you see your partner checking someone else out or having a good time with someone else. Sometimes this can put a healthy kick into your relationship that makes you appreciate the other person that much more than you did before you became jealous.There's really jealous which involves thinking about something all the time whether it's true or not and pondering it and going over it in your mind.

Then there's extremely jealous. This is the kind that's going overboard and really not healthy. This is the blinding jealousy that you just can't seem to overcome and it consumes you every waking thought.Really it can occur over anything and everything from a peanut to a person. But honestly all you are doing is making yourself feel bad. You are literally making yourself sick over something that doesn't deserve your energy.

Would you rather spend your time exerting your energy on happiness or on jealousy?

Jealous From Our Own Viewpoint: Pointless Nonsense.

Our boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife is looking at other people in a way we think they should only be looking at us.

Or maybe it's our neighbors new car or RV that we really like and we become envious of them and feel like we should have something better than they do.

Or the co-worker that for whatever reason has the boss wrapped around their fingers.

This kind of jealousy stems from our insecurity of ourselves. They are all real things that we observe with our own eyes but we make worse with our minds.The fact that your partner is looking at someone else doesn't mean that they are acting on it and there's no cause for alarm. You know you that you personally go out and look at other people the same way they are looking at the person when you get jealous. Admit it! You do it.

Now, think about the feeling you attach when you look. It's a present moment thought - it's not something you are going to act on. It's something you think about for a minute or two, or maybe a day, and then move on from it. It's not a constant concern or desire in your head.And it's not an attack on your attractiveness or value as a person to your partner. You have to look at that way and realize that you are the one walking beside them not the person they snuck a glance at.

As far as our neighbors and coworkers go - who cares! Why waste our time giving energy to what they do or have? Why not put that energy towards getting what we want to do or have? Don't you think that you are more important to give your concern to? It's all about your ego being bruised and you thinking that either they think they are better than you or that others are somehow comparing you to them.

Are you happy with what you have and where you are? If you are then who cares about them. If you are not then get up and change your life instead of sitting there watching others get what they want.

Pretend Jealousy - The Stuff We Make Up.

Things that haven't even happened but you make up in your head or things that you thought you saw or heard but you're not really sure.

First of all we are blessed with an imagination and it's normally a good thing but when it comes to ridiculous stuff that makes us unhappy it can quickly run out of control.

If you are in a good relationship then why would you make up a story in your head about your partner cheating on you or about someone getting something better than you and flaunting it in your face or some other thing that is pretty much guaranteed not to happen yet you think about as if it is and then force yourself to deal with the emotions attached to it.I've woken up from dreams that I've had about my husband cheating on me and not caring about it and I've been upset for hours over it. I couldn't imagine consciously playing that scenario in my head and wasting my time being upset over it because I was just imagining it. It's a ridiculous thought right? But we do it all the time.

The other situation, where we think we hear or see something, is another waste of emotions and thoughts. Comedies are based around this theory of miss-communication and mishaps but it's not really that funny in real life. If you think that you hear something or see something that makes you jealous but you are not really sure if it happened or is true - ASK.

Open up the communication lines and get talking. 99% of the time it will turn out to be nothing and clear up the misunderstanding while making you feel better.

Jealousy For Real! No Such Thing...

Yes it's a real feeling but there are no real reasons to be jealous. There are many people that think there are actual reasons but I just don't agree with that.

If you've been cheated on and you stay in the relationship and then become 'jealous' when you see your partner staring at other people - that becomes your insecurity with yourself again.You may need to work on your self confidence and overcome jealousy by realizing there is no one worthy of your jealousy. Or you may need to leave the relationship if there's no overcoming the feeling.

Staying in a relationship full of insecurities and questions is not only bad for your mental health it's bad for you physical health. No one, that doesn't treat your right, is worth your happiness and health.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Online dating tips

year after year there are thousands of marriages that take place as a result of online dating. Online dating is a competitive industry and in order to improve your results, it's vital to enhance your presence.
I have assembled 10 essential online dating tips to improve your experience and success. Use these tips to understand yourself, who you are looking for?, and to bring better results.
Online Dating Tips:
1) Determine the type of service which is best for you.There are 5 different types of dating sites that you have to select from. Make sure you select the one that matches with your desires.
The first is General Online Dating Services. These are sites which provide you with the ability to view everyone's profile and aim at dating. Such services include: Yahoo! Personals,, LavaLife, American Singles, Udate, and FriendFinder.
The second are Relationship Services. These are services that match you based on compatibility and are generally for those who are serious about a relationship. Such services include eHarmony and
The third are Social Network Services. These are free sites which allow you to build your friends and find someone to date. They include MySpace, Friendster and Orkut.
The fourth are Niche Dating Services. These are services aimed at bringing people together, to date, who share a specific common desire. Such services include Green Friends (vegetarians), Equestrian Cupid (horse lovers), Millionaire Match (rich singles), Animal Attraction (Pet Lovers), and Senior Match (older singles).
The fifth are Merging Online Dating Services. These combine dating with offline applications. For example, Peek a Bio and Chick n Chit allow you to post a profile then hand out specially printed cards to people you meet in everyday life who you are interested in. Using the card, these people can access your hidden profile to learn more about you.
Decide which service(s) best meet your need, then pursue it!
2) Follow important online dating safety tips.From the time you sign up for a service through the time you meet on a date, it's important to be safe. Read Online Dating Magazine's Online Dating Safety Tips article for specific things you should and shouldn't do. In a nutshell: never give out too much personal information; never give a home phone number; always meet in a public place for the first date; ask for a recent photo (or how old posted photos are); and trust your gut instinct. Read the article for more safety tips and full descriptions.
3) Build a winning profile.Your profile is one of the two key elements that will determine if a person emails you on an online dating service (the other is photo - see next tip). Thus it's important to make sure that your profile is lively, fun, and positive. Avoid negatives (I'm lonely, I can't believe I'm doing this) at all costs. Examine other profiles and determine what about it makes you more interested or less interested. Read Online Dating Magazine's Profile Tips article for more advice. If a person finds your profile interesting and not generic then you have increased your chances of someone showing interest in you. Make yours interesting!
4) Post great recent photos.Face it - when doing a search on an online dating service the first thing that grabs your attention is the photo. This is the single most important element to getting people to view that great profile you've written (see last tip). These days, generic photos won't cut it. You need to determine what colors look best on you, dress nice, be clean cut, and have someone take various photos of you that are fun and lively. When I changed my photo from a posed shot to a shot of me with an Orangutan, the number of people emailing me or showing an interest quadrupled. It also provided a great ice breaker and talking point when someone emailed me. Read Online Dating Magazine's Creating a Better Online Dating Photo article for some excellent tips.
5) Learn effective communication techniques.Your first email to someone you're interested in is the most important one you'll ever write because it will help determine whether or not they write back. It's important to personalize your introductory email and spend more time asking questions (based on the other person's profile) than providing information about yourself. Throwing a compliment in doesn't hurt either (i.e. "I love your smile" or "your profile is one of the best I've read"). Learn some good communication techniques by reading some of these Online Dating Magazine articles and columns: 12 Keys to Better Online Dating Communication Dating From the Inside Out Connect.
6) Always be respectful of others.By learning to respect others, you enhance your character. Being respectful means not being lewd (in communicating with others) and not "dropping off the face of the earth" when you move on. One of the biggest complaints we receive is from people who say the person they were communicating with just "disappeared" and stopped communicating. It's very disrespectful when you don't send a polite message letting other people know that you are moving on.
7) Avoid white lies.In the world of online dating, white lies take on many forms, including: posting a photo more than nine months old; lying about your age; lying about your income; lying about your job. The simple fact is that you are likely looking for your soul mate, so at some point in the dating relationship, those lies will come back to haunt you. Always be honest and truthful in everything you say and post. By always telling the truth, you'll never have to remember what you said!
8) Learn how to better identified and avoid married people.It's a sad fact that nearly 1/4th of people who participate in online dating are married. Whether looking for a way to cheat or trying to see what they "missed out" on, these people are a menace to people seeking true relationships. Married people will be extremely secretive and irregular in their communication with you. If you reach the point of talking on the phone, you'll get their cell phone answering machine a lot and calls will be returned on an irregular basis. They generally won't post a picture or will post one that is dark/grainy. After all, they don't want a friend or family member to come across their profile! Learn more tips by reading Online Dating Magazine's How to Stay Clear of Married Men article. Avoid married people at all costs. As the adage goes: once a cheater, always a cheater.
9) Make the first date memorable.The concept of success with online dating doesn't end with getting a date. Your actual date is going to shape the other person's opinion more than anything else to date. Thus it's important that you make a great first impression. As the saying goes, you never get a second chance to make a great first impression. Be confident on your date. Confidence is one of the biggest attractions you can posses. Learn some great first date tips by reading the following Online Dating Magazine articles: 10 Tips to Getting a Second Date and Beyond 10 Important Dating Tips for Men First Date Do's and Don'ts.
10) Avoid becoming a professional online dater.Online Dating Magazine coined the term "professional online dater" to describe the growing number of people becoming addicted to online dating. The addiction is bad enough that it effects relationships and potential relationships, while hurting others in the process. And hurting others should be the last thing you want to do. A professional online dater is one who is on several dating services, going out on several dates regularly, and always thinking "the next one may be better". If he/she enters into a relationship, they just hide their profile (versus deleting it) and at the first sign up trouble in a relationship, they generally return to the online dating world instead of working out the issues. A professional online dater generally just "drops off the face of the earth" instead of telling you he/she is no longer interested in communicating. For more information, read the Online Dating Magazine article, Avoid Becoming a Professional Online Dater.
By following the above tips, you'll find both your experience and personal character improving. You'll also increase your chances of finding that special someone and eventually becoming one of the tens of thousands of people that marry a year because they met their "soul mate" online.

Top five online dating sites

So, your looking for the best dating sites online, eh?
Well there are a huge number of online dating sites, but the best ones are
those which can match your profile efficiently and conveniently with other
peoples profiles near or in your locality.

Here's a list of the top five dating sites for you:
The best part about this site is that it is free to join here and allows you to message the people for free

I have'nt really tried this site but you need to pay for chatting with your matches, its free to join though.

3) Adult frnd finder
Well if your looking for serious relationships, this is not the one for you. The people who wanna hookup can opt for this site.

I know little about this site, join for free.

It's never been easier to meet new people on your terms, when you want and with who you want, That's what the site says.

Enjoy people. Hope I helped you!

Tips on online dating

I think using the web to find your significant other is for losers. lol.
Sorry people, that was a joke, take it lighltly. well, finding your mate online
is good, simple, easy and fast. :-)
You just have to follow these steps:
1) choose the best dating site
2) register for that site
3) write about yourself
4) upload your photos, atleast 1, so as to increase your matches.
5) complete your profile
6) and the last thing, keep visiting oftenly.