Monday, June 21, 2010

Why Is Jealousy Not Worth Your Time In Relationship? I'll Tell You Why.

We all know the feeling. It's that feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you miserable and sick and just an ugly person all around.It can occur in all kinds of relationships whether it is friendship, lovers, neighbours, or co-workers. It doesn't matter whom or what you are jealous of the emotion is still Jealousy.



There's being a little Jealous. Meaning you only think about it occasionally like when you see your partner checking someone else out or having a good time with someone else. Sometimes this can put a healthy kick into your relationship that makes you appreciate the other person that much more than you did before you became jealous.There's really jealous which involves thinking about something all the time whether it's true or not and pondering it and going over it in your mind.



Then there's extremely jealous. This is the kind that's going overboard and really not healthy. This is the blinding jealousy that you just can't seem to overcome and it consumes you every waking thought.Really it can occur over anything and everything from a peanut to a person. But honestly all you are doing is making yourself feel bad. You are literally making yourself sick over something that doesn't deserve your energy.



Would you rather spend your time exerting your energy on happiness or on jealousy?



Jealous From Our Own Viewpoint: Pointless Nonsense.



Our boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife is looking at other people in a way we think they should only be looking at us.



Or maybe it's our neighbors new car or RV that we really like and we become envious of them and feel like we should have something better than they do.



Or the co-worker that for whatever reason has the boss wrapped around their fingers.



This kind of jealousy stems from our insecurity of ourselves. They are all real things that we observe with our own eyes but we make worse with our minds.The fact that your partner is looking at someone else doesn't mean that they are acting on it and there's no cause for alarm. You know you that you personally go out and look at other people the same way they are looking at the person when you get jealous. Admit it! You do it.



Now, think about the feeling you attach when you look. It's a present moment thought - it's not something you are going to act on. It's something you think about for a minute or two, or maybe a day, and then move on from it. It's not a constant concern or desire in your head.And it's not an attack on your attractiveness or value as a person to your partner. You have to look at that way and realize that you are the one walking beside them not the person they snuck a glance at.



As far as our neighbors and coworkers go - who cares! Why waste our time giving energy to what they do or have? Why not put that energy towards getting what we want to do or have? Don't you think that you are more important to give your concern to? It's all about your ego being bruised and you thinking that either they think they are better than you or that others are somehow comparing you to them.



Are you happy with what you have and where you are? If you are then who cares about them. If you are not then get up and change your life instead of sitting there watching others get what they want.



Pretend Jealousy - The Stuff We Make Up.



Things that haven't even happened but you make up in your head or things that you thought you saw or heard but you're not really sure.



First of all we are blessed with an imagination and it's normally a good thing but when it comes to ridiculous stuff that makes us unhappy it can quickly run out of control.



If you are in a good relationship then why would you make up a story in your head about your partner cheating on you or about someone getting something better than you and flaunting it in your face or some other thing that is pretty much guaranteed not to happen yet you think about as if it is and then force yourself to deal with the emotions attached to it.I've woken up from dreams that I've had about my husband cheating on me and not caring about it and I've been upset for hours over it. I couldn't imagine consciously playing that scenario in my head and wasting my time being upset over it because I was just imagining it. It's a ridiculous thought right? But we do it all the time.



The other situation, where we think we hear or see something, is another waste of emotions and thoughts. Comedies are based around this theory of miss-communication and mishaps but it's not really that funny in real life. If you think that you hear something or see something that makes you jealous but you are not really sure if it happened or is true - ASK.



Open up the communication lines and get talking. 99% of the time it will turn out to be nothing and clear up the misunderstanding while making you feel better.



Jealousy For Real! No Such Thing...



Yes it's a real feeling but there are no real reasons to be jealous. There are many people that think there are actual reasons but I just don't agree with that.



If you've been cheated on and you stay in the relationship and then become 'jealous' when you see your partner staring at other people - that becomes your insecurity with yourself again.You may need to work on your self confidence and overcome jealousy by realizing there is no one worthy of your jealousy. Or you may need to leave the relationship if there's no overcoming the feeling.



Staying in a relationship full of insecurities and questions is not only bad for your mental health it's bad for you physical health. No one, that doesn't treat your right, is worth your happiness and health.

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